The Kangaroo Konflicts

"A war of brains and brawn... and also Durk"

The Kangaroo Konflicts
The Kangaroo Konflicts were a series of escalating tensions and altercations that took place between 2010 and 2013 in Wilmington NC between Durk and then-roommate, a half human half marsupial hybrid known as Joey Kangaroo. Kangaroo was an accomplished pugilist and preferred to engage in physical hand to hand conflict, leading DURK to have to think outside the box.

Fall - Winter of 2010

Durk and Kangaroo have been randomly assigned living quarters together. Tensions gradually rise between the pair as they encounter typical roommate issues such as arguments over chores and bills.

Spring 2011

The spring semester begins with renewed anger between the two combatants. Weeks of rain have left the roommates practically stranded in their apartment and morale and supplies are running on empty.

Fall 2011

Kangaroo and fellow roommates attempt a peace offering by creating a Craigslist and Facebook profile for Durk under the alias "King Turk" which also causes the birth of King Turk in the Multiverse. King Turk is known for sexual prowess and uses his newfound platforms to offer girls of Wilmington "free dick rides". Chris Durk grows ever angry with his more successful counter part and escalates tensions with Kangaroo while the King partakes in copious amounts of sex and drugs.

Spring 2012

By spring of 2012 things have turned violent. Kangaroo begins to hide or destroy Durk's property and play other psychological games with him. Durk reacts by unscrewing all of Joey's lightbulbs, which actually has the unintended effect of deescalating tensions briefly since Joey "needed to change them anyway". Joey also swapped the Edison style traditional bulbs with energy efficient LEDs, causing him to get a Nobel prize in green energy and environmentalism. This infuriated Durk who responded by smearing Joey's walls with fecal matter.