Chris Durk

"I'M DOWNLOADING CLOUD"

-Chris Durk

''This page contains information about the character Durk. For the swashbuckling Wilmington captain by the same name, see: Pirate Durk.''

Chris Durk
Chris Durk (oftentimes simply "Durk") is one of the main characters in the Alem Cong multiverse and one of the most enigmatic inhabitants. Durk possess seemingly some ability to manipulate time and space but does not have any mastery of it. He is a generally happy-go-lucky fellow who is easily influenced by pump-up speeches.

Early Life
Chris was born many decades ago when Glen Durkleton Durk got drunk and crashed his car into an electric fence. The electric shock combined with having a Blood Alcohol Content of 99% caused a bizarre and advanced tumor to form within Glenn that was birthed 9 months later in the form of Chris.

Relationship with Alem Cong
Chris attended high school with Alem Cong where he was frequently by other students such as AJ, David Christianson and Allison Chipmunk (now married). During his time in high school, he frequently stalked various women including Allison. Upon graduation he attended college at the beach, which was likely the impetus for him becoming a pirate in certain multiverse instances. One day, Durk was hit by a douchey mustang in an attempted assassination. He died upon impact and his body was buried in cement on-site, forming a goofy shaped roadblock deemed the "Swede bump".

College Life
Upon resurrection, his mentality from then on out stayed the same. His brain was stuck in the same mental stage of his age at the time meaning his mindset and habits never grew up. During this time, his mental capacity was of a five year old. He continued to fumble his way through the hardships of college and eventually obtained a 0.142 GPA in marine biology which would later enable him to become the world's most accomplished "tube-luber analyst".

During this time, he spent most of his days sitting on the toilet playing his mint condition Nintendo 3DS that always sat in his pocket along with his keys, in order to avoid abuse by a joey kangaroo. Incidents such as the joey kangaroo slapping DURK which eventually lead to DURK unscrewing the kangaroo's light bulbs and placing them on his bed, etc. The escalating conflict between DURK and Kangaroo is chronicled in "The Kangaroo Konflicts". Other incidents involved his "friends" taking him to cookout mafia style by shoving him into the trunk of a car and flying over speed bumps.

Post College Life
- got to admit, writing this stuff down made me think about these times and was kinda therapeutic in a way.

- WAREwolf check
 * boss hates him (what else is new?)

- hotel - roommate with Alex
 * Boss hates him (what else is new?)
 * ghost in room
 * roommate hates him (what else is new?)
 * stomp on shoes
 * gay pride anal bead looking things when he did not notice the color changes
 * ...whoa...
 * durk's first kiss
 * passing out on the floor
 * I'm DOWNLOADING CLOUD
 * running to the car like a dummy
 * eating food not his
 * durk smoothies
 * seared bacon
 * durk thought he died in a thunderstorm
 * finding the mugshot binder
 * UHHHH UHHH
 * uhhhmmm........uhmmm... i like asian......
 * chubgan

- pump up speech - wake animal hospital, wendleken, fishline - Online dating - parking around corner from apartment to get picked up by mommy - UBER RIHT?
 * why did we do this god dammit?
 * thinks he's a vet
 * thinks he's a nurse equivalent of a vet
 * fired after a month
 * wants to become a vet
 * bosses hate him (what else is new?)
 * chubgan
 * got to admit, hes got me in the willing to online date department
 * most likely slept at his moms house and in her bed with her due to homesickness
 * liem and alex utilized our criminology degrees and pinpointed what the fuck he was doing

- definitive summary of birth of chris durk
 * splashing water on presh's face
 * hurricane durk levels
 * this night was an absolute category 5 and has yet to be matched (maybe have a separate wiki page detailing categories of durk)
 * STOP CALLING ME CHRIS
 * calling presh fat (link to bad guy also calling her fat)
 * bro bro hook me up with shawwwnawwn
 * Liem cringe at durk "oh god.... ohhhh goddd..........."
 * Bosses at hotel called him Chris for months and he never corrected them so we called him chris. DURK was because he was a moron and DURK just sounds fucking stupid